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(Doctrine of Charity 202)
The Lord inspires us to do good things for the neighbor. He alerts us to people in need and also helps us to see ways that we may help them. To really understand how we can help others, we need to learn what the Lord teaches in His Word about charity.
READ: What Is Charity? by the Rt. Rev. Peter M. Buss, Sr.
"Charity, or love to the neighbor, is not primarily some good act we do. It's what we are; it's a quality of person that we become; it's something deep inside us, which comes from the power of the Lord of love."
ACTIVITY: What Is Charity? (ages 10-up)
The Lord gives us many teachings about charity in His Word. Here are some abbreviated quotations for reading and discussion which can be cut apart so that everyone can pick a quote to read aloud.
ACTIVITY: Secret Angels (or Secret Pals) (ages 5-12)
How do we get started on doing good things for the neighbor? Being a secret angel is one way to practice being charitable. After choosing a name out of a hat, these "angels" secretly look for ways to help that person and do good things for them.
ACTIVITY: Modeling Charity for Children
What better way to teach children charity than to let them see it in action? Children can help deliver a meal to a family with a new baby, join a work party to clean the church building, or do kind things for an elderly neighbor. Even a toddler can take great joy in carrying a newspaper to a neighbor's doorstep!
ACTIVITY: Pass It On...
People sometimes want to repay someone who has helped them by doing something kind for them. Instead, they may be told to look for opportunities to help someone else, passing on the favor. When a person does something nice for you, try to pass on the favor (a similar or different one) to someone else. If you do this within a group it will eventually come "full circle" to the person who did the first kindness. This activity includes ideas for writing a story.
REFLECTIONS ON PARENTING
As parents, we should look to our children's potential usefulness in heaven and on earth. The heavenly perspective looks to the good of the neighbor, the common good (of society), the Lord's kingdom (heaven and the Church on earth), and especially the Lord (see Arcana Coelestia 1909). We love the Lord by serving the neighbor if we are oriented toward His goals. Is our goal as parents to raise children for a useful life on earth and then in heaven? Or do we give our children the impression that success is defined in terms of honor, reputation, and gain? Are we looking to the Lord's goals? Love to the Lord is conjoined with love toward the neighbor only if we love Him above all things (ibid.).
FAMILY DISCUSSION: Being Polite
In 1879 the Rev. William Frederick Pendleton started a New Church school in Chicago and wrote "Some Rules of Conduct" for his students. In summary, he suggested the children cultivate honesty, punctuality, respect for their elders, confidentiality, dignity, and politeness. They should avoid gossiping, insincere flattery, slang expressions, whispering in company, monopolizing or interrupting conversation, and noticing another's shortcomings. He concluded with these words:
The principle of charity is the silent vein running through all acts of politeness; it is a recognition of the rights of others and a charitable allowance for their failings. The whole of politeness is contained in the Golden Rule.
Talk with your children about the importance of being polite to others. Good manners are a way of acting charitably toward other people.
ACTIVITY: Focus on Manners (ages 6-10)
Good manners help everyone around you feel comfortable. Use a T chart to help you think about the effect that manners have on others.
LITERATURE AND MUSIC CONNECTIONS
The following stories illustrate aspects of charity for young children:
The Elves and the Shoemaker (fairytale)
The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
The Star Money (fairytale)
You may want to learn "Magic Penny," a song by Malvina Reynolds in which the chorus goes:
Love is something if you give it away,
Give it away, give it away.
Love is something if you give it away;
You end up having more.
Faith joined to charity is like light in springtime....
and...makes everything come to life.
(True Christian Religion 385:1,2)
The Heavenly Doctrine gives us some analogies to help us understand the spiritual concept of charity.
PROJECT: Winter to Spring
Draw a winter landscape then make a spring landscape on tracing paper or acetate that can be placed over it. One pictures believing in the Lord while the other pictures both believing in Him and doing the good things. It is like springtime when light and warmth make all of nature "come to life" again.
ACTIVITY: Make a Charity Garden
Charity makes life bloom, like a desert turning into a garden. To illustrate this idea with your family, make a "charity garden" in your yard.
ACTIVITY: Night and Day (ages 8-up)
In a dark room, light one large candle to symbolize the Lord giving light and warmth. Then let each person in the family or group light a candle from that first burning candle to symbolize receiving inspiration from Him to do kind things for others.
The angels of heaven get nothing but happiness out of being useful;
and they receive it in proportion to their usefulness.
(Arcana Coelestia 7038)
Charity is expressed through our actions which include the many things we do to serve the neighbor. These can also be called uses.
READ: Our Daily Work by the Rev. Grant Odhner
"All higher uses rest in lower ones. Spiritual uses rest on the natural, domestic, and physical. Eternal uses rest on our daily tasks." So how can we apply eternal principles to the mundane work we must do every day? For example, in what way does washing the dishes serve higher, spiritual uses
JOURNAL PAGE: Love Guiding to Uses (teens and up)
Let your affections guide you toward activities that promote the uses that you love.
FOR REFLECTION: Our Attitude Toward Uses of the Home (ages 10 and up)
The Heavenly Doctrine speaks of uses of the home, such as faithfully loving one's married partner, bringing up children, and managing one's household (see Divine Wisdom 11:5). Think about some of your tasks at home (or elsewhere) and brainstorm the higher uses that they serve. Does it change your attitude toward doing them?
ACTIVITY: Develop a Loving Attitude (teens and up)
Here is a tool for developing a loving attitude through gratitude and counting your blessings.
WHO IS THE NEIGHBOR TO BE LOVED?
A person is to be loved according to the quality of the good
that is in him.... Therefore good itself is essentially the neighbor.
(True Christian Religion 410)
The Lord told the parable of the Good Samaritan to help learn who is the neighbor whom we should love. While the Lord loves everyone - and so should we - how we interact with the neighbor is related to the good that is in him.
READ: Who Is the Neighbor? by the Rev. Kenneth Stroh
"When the Lord said that we should love our neighbor, He did not mean that we should love only the people who live next door.... He meant that we should love our heavenly neighbors. And who are our spiritual or heavenly neighbors? How can we tell who our neighbor is?"
JOURNAL PAGE: Looking for the Good in People
We cannot know the quality of the good with everyone, but we can know and appreciate the uses that they serve. This may be especially helpful when we aren't getting along with someone. Think about the useful things that this person does - the ways in which he or she serves the Lord and the neighbor.
To love God and to love the neighbor is nothing else than doing goods,
for love in its essence is to will, and in its existence it is to do; for what a person loves,
that he wills, and what he wills from love, that he does.
(Apocalypse Explained 7972:4)
We show our love to the Lord by serving the neighbor, and the Lord shows us a variety of ways we can express our love for the neighbor.
READ: How to Love One Another by the Rt. Rev. George de Charms
This family talk reveals the secret of how we can truly serve the Lord by serving other people.
READ: The Test of Love by the Rev. Daniel Goodenough
Love is the supreme virtue. But what is the test of true love - how can we know if we are truly loving? "Love, unless it becomes deed, ceases to be love. If you don't do something about it, you don't really love, no matter how full of good feelings you sometimes are."
ACTIVITY: Hand Motions for the Two Great Commandments (ages 4-8)
Recite the Two Great Commandments using hand motions to help your child understand them.
PROJECT: Paper Doll Chain of Neighbors (ages 4-8)
Fold the paper, cut out the person and open up. You will see all the neighbors and a special symbol for the love that binds us together - a heart.
ACTIVITY: Let Your Light Shine Candle Activity (ages 10-up)
This is an activity that fosters charity from affection and delight. It may be used within a family, a youth group, a class, or even among friends.
PROJECT: Loving the Lord and the Neighbor (ages 4-10)
Make a picture of the Lord (or cut out the color picture provided) to help you remember the first commandment to love the Lord. Make the picture of a friend or a family (or cut out the color picture provided) to help you remember the second commandment to love the neighbor.
JOURNAL PAGE: Nurturing Our Ability to Serve the Neighbor (teens and adults)
Think about personal characteristics and habits that limit your ability to serve the neighbor and work on those. Also reflect on gifts from the Lord that you can nurture to help others.
FAMILY DISCUSSION: Charity toward Others
To love the neighbor as oneself is, not to hold him in light esteem in comparison with oneself, to deal justly with him, and not to pass evil judgments upon him
(True Christian Religion 411).
This behavior is a good lifetime habit to develop. When in conversation with others we have the opportunity not to get into hurtful remarks or gossip about someone else. Remember that we can stop a sentence in mid flow, or simply say that we cannot possibly know the whole story and do not want to make judgments. We can develop an attitude of charity.
ACTIVITY: Smoothing Out Problems with the Neighbor (teens and adults)
Here is an activity that might help us to refrain from hurting a person we don't like in thought, word, or deed.
ACTIVITY: Cultivating Compassion (teens and adults)
When we have reason to be annoyed with our neighbor, it may help to imagine a scenario that would explain (but not excuse) inconsiderate behavior. One woman describes imagining that the person who cut her off on the highway has just had terrible news about a loved one. This is one way to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Charity means love toward the neighbor and compassion, for anyone who loves his neighbor as himself
also has as much compassion for him in his suffering as he does for himself in his own.
(Arcana Coelestia 351)
The Lord told this parable to help people understand how to love the neighbor.
READ: The Good Samaritan by the Rev. Kurt Horigan Asplundh
An illustrated retelling of the parable of the good Samaritan for young children.
FAMILY WORSHIP: The Parable of the Good Samaritan
Read the gospel of Luke 10:25-37. Here the Lord tells how to be a good neighbor to others. After telling the parable, the Lord asks who was the neighbor to the man who fell among the thieves? And the lawyer answered, "He who showed mercy on him." What is mercy?
PROJECT: A Golden Heart (ages 2-6)
Make a heart that is gold (or red) on one side and black on the other. Retell the story of the Good Samaritan and talk about which heart pictures the actions of the priest, the Levite, the Samaritan, and the innkeeper.
FOR DISCUSSION: Wine and Oil (ages 10-up)
Why did the Samaritan apply wine and oil to the man's wounds? How can we offer wine to people who are hurting? How can we offer them oil - the "oil of human kindness?"
ACTIVITY: Dramatizing the Story of the Good Samaritan (ages 3-7)
PLAY: the Good Samaritan (ages 7-12)
A script for dramatizing the parable.
PROJECT: Picture the Samaritan Helping a Stranger (ages 6-9)
COLORING PAGE: The Good Samaritan
SING: The Good Samaritan by Lori Odhner
DISCUSSION: Consider the Source (teens and up)
Is it possible that we may be guilty of "prejudice" in favor of ideas suggested by our friends and against ideas suggested by people we don't know as well?